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| #AtoZChallenge |
Five years after my fight with cancer, I was asked, “I hear you are also a victim of cancer” by an educated person. I answered, “I went through cancer and here I am, alive. You don’t see cancer here, right? So, to put it out precisely, we both had a fight and cancer was the victim and I am the victor”.
Fighting cancer and treatment will last for a short period of our lives. When we get back on track of our new normal lives, we have a choice of either being a victim or a victor. I have come across very strong, independent and self-respecting people losing the positive part of themselves during the prolonged treatment procedure. I have also seen crumble after hearing about the diagnosis, even before stepping into the treatment.
The prolonged treatment makes people feel like a patient. I walk into the hospital, and then I am asked to sit on a wheelchair for my check-ups. Of course I refuse. But, this extra caring can make you feel like a patient. Having surrendered to healthcare workers or loved ones during their treatment which left them weak, some people refer to themselves at patients even after years.
When going through research here, which was conducted on 168 young to middle-aged adults who had previously experienced cancer.The result showed that - At least somewhat, 83% endorsed survivor identity, 81% identity of "person who has had cancer", 58% "patient", and 18% "victim".’
It was concluded that even though the ‘Survivor identity appears most common and most associated with active involvement and better psychological well-being, other identities also exist or coexist and those identities affect their behavior.
Cancer leaves the survivors with the trauma of going through surgery and prolonged treatment, which is not easy to deal with. There are a lot of changes in the body. As a breast cancer survivor, initially I struggled to feel normal among women with two breasts, after my mastectomy. Then adding salt to the wound, I had to lose my hair as well. All of sudden I looked different, and felt different. It was easy for me to feel like a victim, because what I was going suited the dictionary - a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.
It took sometime, but then I started feeling like a victor over cancer. Wars leave scars, so I had them, but then wasn’t I here alive kicking the cancer butt out of my life? I had made right choices and stomped over that crab.
Choose to be Victor… we are!
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| People start to identify us differently when we stop being thinking like victims |
I too, have chosen Victor. I prefer it to Survivor, because I'm Thriving, not Surviving. Victim was never an option. During treatment, I was a good soldier and did every thing they told me to do. I DID have to be patient, I was using the LA County health system and a lot of waiting was required. I vanquished IIIc HER2 breast cancer. 11 years clear.
ReplyDeleteYay us!
I am glad to know that Anne.. 11 years is a great mark. Wish you all the best
DeleteFarida,
ReplyDeleteI have been involved in conducting art therapy session at a hospital unit that houses residents who are undergoing cancer treatment. Early on, I was told to refer to them as residents and not patients for the same reasons as you mention in your post.
The residents use words like cancer warriors to describe themselves. Your post today reminded me of the strength and power the use of correct words can impart. Thank you.
Yes, saying it right makes a huge difference. I have learned about this when working with young children as well.
DeleteI agree "victim " is not a helpful expression - not in the context of battling sickness and not in relationships and everyday life. Some people, however, crave compassion, and they feel they'll only get it if they are victims.
ReplyDeleteSo you're a victor, a surviver, and better yet, a cancer stomper!!! Good for you ♥
The victim mentality has destroyed many lives, may be more than cancer. Yes, I have been a stomper since childhood, cancer choose the wrong lady to fight with LOL
DeleteI'm not a big fan of the word victim, except when describing murders or other horrific crimes. I like victor or survivor. As a freelance journalist, I have interviewed a number of survivors for articles connected to the local Relay for Life. They are definitely victors, not victims, and I appreciate them entrusting their stories to me.
ReplyDeleteI was in Springhill Fl in 2008, when I took part in relay of life. I enjoyed it a lot. Yes, we can use the word victim when it comes to murders or crimes but not to regular life incidents or challenges.
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