Chapters From My Life: 100 Rays Of Son

Play By Rules

This was scary to look at. I have another similar scary picture which sometimes makes me feel that I shouldn't have given him all the freedom

When I was 7, I fell down from the chair I was sitting and fractured my leg. I have suffered from almost 6 different fractures throughout my life so far. I was not into adventure sports and all my injuries, burns, fractures/chip in bones happened when I was just walking on the road, sitting on the chair, ironing clothes or coming inside the home from bathroom which was just a little distance from home. Both my knees are full of scars. If you are in for a horror show, I can send some pictures of my recent injuries to you.

So far Rayyan has had two major injuries throughout his life. One was a cut which required 4 stitches near his thick eyebrows caused by a child pushing him on to a pole from behind when they were playing football. Another was on the eyelid when a child sitting down, jumped up and hit his head on Rayyan’s face causing a cut on the eyelid. It required 3 stitches. I don’t think he has any other injuries which I can recall.

Image may contain: 2 people, shoes, tree, grass, outdoor and nature

Give him a hanging rope and he goes back to the days when we were Monkeys

Rayyan has been very active, yet he has not suffered falls, accidents, burns or wounds like me. I wonder why? Is life unfair? The answer is simple. He is alert and concentrates on what he is doing and he always follows the rules. Rules do not include blind beliefs or rituals for him. He will follow rules which have been established with a logic behind them.

I am not sure how many people follow all traffic rules meant for vehicles when they are cycling. Rayyan does though.

Few years ago, we were supposed to meet at a place near Central Mall and I was waiting for Rayyan to come from his PG. I saw him come towards me from an opposite road on his bicycle. I waved at him, but he just went to the right and kept riding. I picked up my phone and called him, but no answer. Tempted by the ice-cream shop in front of me, I was wondering how much weight I should gain to become visible to him, I saw him coming back towards me.

“I was waving at you. How could you not see me?”

“I saw you maa. That is why I am here”.

“So why did you go to the right and come back after 15 minutes instead of crossing the road?”

“I went to find the ‘U’ turn”.

“There were no vehicles. You were on bicycle. You can cross the road easily”

“No maa. It is not to show others that I follow traffic rules. I follow it for my safety and the safety of fellow travellers. I did not pick your call because I was riding, and you know we shouldn’t talk on phone when we are riding”.

I change the topic because I do not want to dwell on this and get embarrassed. When I allowed Rayyan to do weird tricks with bicycle, dive in pools without a trainer, climb up hills, mountains and ghats by foot or bicycle, I was warned by many people that he may suffer serious injury. In fact, one cruel person told me that I already have a child who is having tough time walking and I am trying to change the other one to be the same. Touchwood, so far those predictions have not come true.

With Rayyan and his adventures I have learned some lessons. It is not what we do that becomes dangerous but how we do it and how much we are focussed on what we are doing that makes a difference. Off course this does not apply to all adventures. My wandering mind is what has caused my falls where as Rayyan’s wandering physically has kept him safe. Can I change and wander safely? No. That is not possible for me. I cannot ignore the phone when it rings like Rayyan does. I cannot shut myself off when I am driving. I cannot ignore the ticking time and keep the same pace when I am late. As for driving, I should also appreciate my brother who drives quite fast, but always is highly focused on road and is quite safe driver. Concentration and alertness plays a big role in our safety on roads.

Whenever I am riding with Rayyan on a two wheeler and we are late to reach a destination, I cannot help but prod him to hurry up. Unfortunately, it has no effect on Rayyan. He usually responds calmly saying that we will anyway make a difference of just 10 minutes or so and not much. Better be late than never. I have never been able to make him hurry up, take a wrong turn, jump a signal or ignore any signs. If the sign says stop, he will, even if he is the only person on the road.

This has been sometimes very frustrating for me, but I haven’t been able to hit or slap him for what he is doing.

More frustration comes my way when he has to start driving. He will never go on the road, until he is sure that he can ride the vehicle properly. How will he be good at it without taking the risk of entering the road? I have seen his drama of watching youtube videos and knowing his bike thoroughly before entering the road. I keep pushing him, but it doesn’t work at all. What works for me is knowing that I don’t have to worry about my child when he is out there. He keeps himself safe. He uses all the safety guards, helmet and plays by the rule. As for his mom, she is trying hard to learn her lessons from her son and you should appreciate her for that.