100 Rays Of Son - 77

#100RaysOfSon – 77

Disturbance In Soul

Recently when Rayyan was going to office, he came across a guy carrying chickens on a two wheeler. The chicken breeders and vendors have become quite heartless and never treat hens like living creatures at all. He says the beaks of those chicken were almost touching the road and they were terrified. As he stood at the traffic junction, he was quite horrified the way they were tied. What made him sad was the way the guy carrying the chickens and everyone around were insensitive to it. He tried talking to the guy carrying the chicken but he did not respond in a right way.

When Rayyan came back home that day, he pleaded with me to spare him from chicken consumption since he did not want to be a part of this cruelty. I recollected all the favourite dishes I would cook for Rayyan and Farheena from chicken and did not want him to give it up. As I was thinking of opposing him I saw how sad and dejected he looked and did not reply. Something about the incident that day had troubled him.

It is not just killing and eating chicken that was troubling him, but more than that it was the way people are insensitive to this particular species. Rayyan says that even those people who show sympathy towards an injured pigeon or any other bird, do not even think of a hen as a bird. With the way he was emotional I decided to leave him alone for time being before picking up the issue with him later. He says recently some people were lamenting the plight of a hurt pigeon, but when they entered the hotel they ordered grilled chicken without even thinking it was also a bird like the pigeon. As he was talking about this, I was going through great guilt because even though I loved my pet chickens, I have never thought of them when I am eating chicken dishes.

I remember back in Byndoor, once he saw a small hen kept for sale and bought it home. That hen had been bred for consumption and did not even know how to walk initially. She would walk sideways like a crab. She could not peck at strewn food but would only eat randomly pecking at the food given in a bowl. She was unlike the hens we had in our home at that time. She was terrified of everything around her. She looked like some character from cartoons and not a real animal. She would always move around us because she could not adapt to the world outside for a long time. She had to be kept separated from other hens for her safety. They would peck at her and chase her away. Slowly, she started finding her food naturally and moving around in our backyard. She did not live long though, because when the chicken flu hit our village, even before we realized she was sick, she was gone.

The way the hen behaved was something that had pulled very hard at an emotional chord in my heart as well but we people who have been eating chickens, continue to do that. He never liked beef or mutton and chicken was the only meat he ate. He doesn’t want to eat eggs because he feels we are killing the chicks before they are born. Recently when there was discussion about the abortion law, Rayyan casually remarked, “We humans eat so many eggs everyday but are worried about unborn human babies. When it comes to chicks, how cruel we are”. I did not argue that day because it took some time for me to register that eggs we eat everyday are unborn chicks.

So, after a few days I was talking to Rayyan about the chickens and why he was so reluctant to eat it. He was hesitant about speaking out what he was thinking. That doesn’t happen with him often. He usually speaks out his mind openly. After a bit of prodding, he finally answered, “Maa I don’t know whether you will believe or understand what I am going to say. I feel there is peace inside me. You can call it a soul or something and it is very calm and serene. Whenever I do something wrong, I feel a disturbance in it. I feel that disturbance when I eat chicken after seeing how that species is tormented for our taste. Please don’t force me to eat chicken”. He was quite serious of what he was saying. I was kind of dumbfounded because I never thought I would hear something like this from Rayyan. He usually speaks only about scientifically proven rational things and not about divinity, spirituality or souls. After sometime I recovered and asked him, “Why do you think I don’t feel such disturbance in my soul when I eat chicken?” “Maa I think you have not taken care to maintain that peace and maybe there is already disturbance within you. So, this small ripple may not make a difference. For me it does”. Somehow, I believed what he was saying. I am trying very hard from that day to find that peace and serenity within me. It is not easy. I think it is this peace he has maintained that has allowed him to conquer negative emotions like anger, jealousy etc.

I respect his wishes and do not force him to eat chicken anymore though occasionally, I do ask him to taste a bit of what I have cooked. He obliges but I see the reluctance in him and go through guilt later. Sometimes when we order pizza, he removes the chicken pieces but eats the pizza.

Farheena was a great lover of chicken dishes, but now she is also giving up on chicken. She doesn’t ask for it anymore, though when it is placed in front of her, she cannot resist. I very rarely cook chicken now because it feels very odd when Rayyan is sitting with us for lunch or dinner and is avoiding it while we eat it with him sitting among us. Even though we are not vegetarians, Farheena and I have reduced our non-veg consumption quite a lot.

He once told me that Dodos were lucky because they became extinct and did not face the torment, suffering and degrading that happened to hens. It sounds so true. This is one species that has been reduced to mere food for everyone.

Rayyan doesn’t has even a tiny streak of violence in him and cannot inflict pain on anyone, be it human or animal. He says he never feels that he is superior to any animal but feels he is one of them as a living being. He doesn’t has hatred towards any animal though I don’t see any love for house lizards or leeches in him. I am very proud of the way he lived his life so far.

Since the day I have heard about the peace Rayyan has found within him, I am yearning to find it for myself. It was the way he mentioned it that made it something I would like to feel at least once. I want to feel that tiny ripple happening someday… hope I do.

Remember the crazy rooster? He was so comfortable visiting our home, sitting on the pillow and also getting into Farheena’s lap or Rayyan’s shoulder or head. I had a pic of a hen on Rayyan’s head but cannot find it now.

The cruel way hens are carried on two wheelers