100 Rays Of Son - 42

Comparison – Downfall of Our Happiness

There are lot of things I have learned from Rayyan. I consider him my guide for life lessons he has taught me which has made a huge difference to my life. The most important has been about comparison, expectations and abstract beliefs.

When we shifted to Byndoor, Rayyan who was terrified of stepping into unknown waters, took to swimming, diving and just staying in water like an amphibian.

 Be it rain, pond, river or sea; he was at home in the water. He got the nick name ‘paani holla’ which is a speicies of water snake in our region. When he built good stamina, speed and passion for swimming, I was tempted to send him to swimming competitions. Rayyan refused, saying that the competitions will spoil the fun and love of water for him. 

It is difficult to get Rayyan out of pool even when the night progresses

Even with cycling he says the same. I used to argue with him that life is not just about having fun and enjoying, but also about proving yourself. Rayyan calmly replies, “I don’t think we have to prove anything to anyone maa. Why do we want to prove ourselves to be better than others? I feel comparison makes life difficult for many people. Imagine you are alone without others to compare yourself with; will you not be happy with a small shelter, any fresh food or some play time like Tarzan? Isn’t that we want more things when we see others are having it?” I am not sure how to answer that question, but I do think about it quite often.

Rayyan feels people get angry, agitated, frustrated and disappointed most of the times because of comparison. You are shorter, darker, smarter, stronger, richer, or weaker because of comparison. If you do not have anyone to compare yourself with, then your colour, height, weight, wealth, food, or anything becomes good enough.  One example he mentions is of the African’s. They became coloured people only after the presence of white Europeans. Until then, they were completely normal and happy in their continent. Though initially I resisted the theory and wanted him to be more competitive, slowly I changed. Rayyan still remains the same. We had lot of healthy debates when I used to teach him English grammar and degrees of comparison.

Somehow, I realize that his own insight has made him very peaceful. He is happy with whatever he is. As children, I remember we used to demand or yearn for things that were popular among our friends, but Rayyan has his own choices. I do not recall him even for once asking for a thing he has seen with a friend. Since he doesn’t compare himself with others, I see kind of peace in him and I have never seen him go through jealousy like I had earlier. Rayyan often buys me some gifts which is really precious to me and may be only to me because they mean a lot to me, but the best gift he has given me is the life lessons. I have learned to be happy with whatever I am today. Without Rayyan’s guidance, it would not be easy for me to deal with Farheena and her challenges.

When Rayyan had to work on a project for Arena, the topic he picked for 2D movie was something regarding how comparison to others makes everyone unhappy. He worked on it all alone because not many were interested in his project and it required lot of work. Rayyan works hard and he has passion for completing whatever he plans to do. Finally he put together this amazing short movie which got 2^nd prize for him in Arena Animation, Jayanagar.

 I was overjoyed and Rayyan was happy as well. When he came home with the trophy, he was forced to pose with it so that I could treasure the memory. Farheena, was not so happy that her not so important sibling was getting so much attention from Mom, until Rayyan encouraged her to wear her medals, hold her certificates and pose with him.

Finally I realized, that the gesture of Rayyan towards making Farheena happy is what remains more important for me today than that trophy in his hand. This is the life-lesson that has changed me and made me a happy person than I was earlier. Thank you Rayyan.

 

 Which picture wins our hearts? The one above or the one below?