Comparison – Downfall of Our Happiness
There are lot of things I have learned from Rayyan. I
consider him my guide for life lessons he has taught me which has made a huge
difference to my life. The most important has been about comparison, expectations
and abstract beliefs.
When we shifted to Byndoor, Rayyan who was terrified of
stepping into unknown waters, took to swimming, diving and just staying in
water like an amphibian.
Be it rain, pond, river or sea; he was at home in the
water. He got the nick name ‘paani holla’ which is a speicies of water snake in
our region. When he built good stamina, speed and passion for swimming, I was
tempted to send him to swimming competitions. Rayyan refused, saying that the
competitions will spoil the fun and love of water for him.
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| It is difficult to get Rayyan out of pool even when the night progresses |
Rayyan feels people get angry, agitated, frustrated and disappointed
most of the times because of comparison. You are shorter, darker, smarter,
stronger, richer, or weaker because of comparison. If you do not have anyone to
compare yourself with, then your colour, height, weight, wealth, food, or
anything becomes good enough. One example
he mentions is of the African’s. They became coloured people only after the
presence of white Europeans. Until then, they were completely normal and happy
in their continent. Though initially I resisted the theory and wanted him to be
more competitive, slowly I changed. Rayyan still remains the same. We had lot
of healthy debates when I used to teach him English grammar and degrees of comparison.
Somehow, I realize that his own insight has made him very
peaceful. He is happy with whatever he is. As children, I remember we used to
demand or yearn for things that were popular among our friends, but Rayyan has
his own choices. I do not recall him even for once asking for a thing he has
seen with a friend. Since he doesn’t compare himself with others, I see kind of
peace in him and I have never seen him go through jealousy like I had earlier. Rayyan
often buys me some gifts which is really precious to me and may be only to me
because they mean a lot to me, but the best gift he has given me is the life
lessons. I have learned to be happy with whatever I am today. Without Rayyan’s
guidance, it would not be easy for me to deal with Farheena and her challenges.
When Rayyan had to work on a project for Arena, the topic he
picked for 2D movie was something regarding how comparison to others makes
everyone unhappy. He worked on it all alone because not many were interested in
his project and it required lot of work. Rayyan works hard and he has passion
for completing whatever he plans to do. Finally he put together this amazing
short movie which got 2nd prize for him in Arena Animation,
Jayanagar.
I was overjoyed and Rayyan was happy as well. When he came home with
the trophy, he was forced to pose with it so that I could treasure the memory.
Farheena, was not so happy that her not so important sibling was getting so
much attention from Mom, until Rayyan encouraged her to wear her medals, hold
her certificates and pose with him.
Finally I realized, that the gesture of Rayyan towards
making Farheena happy is what remains more important for me today than that trophy
in his hand. This is the life-lesson that has changed me and made me a happy
person than I was earlier. Thank you Rayyan.
Which picture wins our hearts? The one above or the one below?
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