100 Rays Of Son - 31

Do Looks Matter?

Rayyan has exchanged his mobile phones when their hardware started failing. Both the times, the people who came to collect the old phone were confused it to be new mobile. Rayyan keeps his phone in quite good condition with no physical damage. Recently he was hesitant to remove screen guard from his mobile and I was pissed off... "You have put million scars on your face and now worry about this phone? Huh?" I admonished him. He jokes, "I have to see my phone all the day but I see my face very rarely and that too as a mirror image...." I assume that is a joke because that is the only way I can calm myself.
This brings back the memories of my struggle with pimples.
I haven’t dealt with pimples or acnes in my life.  It is funny when I think of it -my life is rough but my skin isn’t.  It was not until Rayyan entered standard 10th did I come face to face with pimples, literally. Initially, there were tiny buds on his forehead and cheek. They would come and go away on their own. Neither was Rayyan bothered by them, nor did I give it a second thought. After all, only the burnt child dreads the fire.
It could be the stress of being in 10th, or just the age factor, either way; soon the pimples were running amok on Rayyan’s smooth face which was not smooth anymore. We went for all the anti-pimples cream, natural remedies and even a prescription from a dermatologist; unfortunately the pimples continued their assault on his face. Though they say every mother finds her baby beautiful, I recall not wanting to look at him even when he was talking to me with those pimples teasing me.
Surprisingly, Rayyan like always was unfettered or untroubled – even by the ugly pimples on his face. He was not even bothered with finding some way of getting rid of them, whereas I was quite disturbed by those pimples. Finally, I suggested him to wash his face often, especially with a deep cleansing face wash which could remove grime and dirt from his skin. This worked to some extent. The dramatic change was seen when he started swimming in sea more often. Later on, Rayyan continued to wash his face as often as possible to keep pimples at bay. So everyone lived happily ever after? Oh no! This is not a fairy tale. This is life!
When the pimples were on back foot, we planned to visit USA.  For some reason, we never gave a thought to the face wash when we left. Within a couple of weeks, the pimples came back with a vengeance. We rushed to the Wal-Mart to find a good face wash for Rayyan, but unfortunately we did not find what we were looking for. The face wash we found there were very mild and was not effective. My friend Paula informed us that safety norms in USA were much higher than in India, so the facewash we found there could never be strong enough for Rayyan, especially because of the facewash he was used to in India.  Among all the chaos created by me and my friend Paula frantically trying to control the pimples,  Rayyan went about enjoying his life as though nothing had happened.
His calm started to bother me. Finally, I and Paula planned a 'no sweet, no ice-cream, no chocolate, no cream' diet for him and sat him down for the talk. We wanted to explain to him how he should take care of his pimples to protect his face from scarring. He shouldn't be neglecting pimples like he was doing. Rayyan refused to follow any diet or be worried about his pimples. He said, “They are not going to do anything much until I decide to become sad and worried because of them. Usually pimples go away after sometime and I have to learn to deal with them until then”.  We take it as a challenge to convince him, "People will look down upon you and dislike you with those pimples on your face". Rayyan is not scared and questions us back, "Do you?" Not to give up so easily, we tried explaining to him about girls, but he cut us short and said, “Isn't it surprising that you two women are worried about my pimples when you have fought cancer and won over it. You have undergone surgeries and stood strong.How can you expect me to be in your company and worry about pimples”? FACEPALM!
We left him alone after that, but also realized how much of wisdom he had picked from people around him though we had not learned much from our experiences. We both were so proud of our boy. Rayyan enjoyed his visit to our friends in USA without even giving a thought to the pimples.
When he came back to India, he found a face wash that could keep his pimples at bay once again. As he crossed the 21 year mark, the pimples started to fade as well. Today, occasionally a pimple here or a pimple there erupts on his face. But like always, Rayyan doesn't give them a hoot while I try to get the pimples all the attention they deserve. He just maintains his skin clean and let that work the best for him.
Rayyan lives by the principle of Eric Davis who said, “Life is too short to worry about anything. You had better enjoy it because the next day promises nothing”.
I have learned so much from this young man who I am so proud to call my son. What best lesson can we learn other than to be happy by making the best of what we have without breaking our heads over tiny troubles that are part and parcel of our life?
PS The pics below are shared because they are relevant to this post with no intention of exposing and embarassing the pimple laden face.