“My counselor did not criticize me like
others; she was the only one to support me in my most important decision of
life.”
Where it started?
Jamie, a 27 years old transgender from
France was on the hospital bed, scared and perplexed. He was going to get
operated in a few hours. It was the life changing operation. He was about to
undergo a gender transference surgery and was missing his close ones.
He was about to take the final injection in
a couple of hours. He was feeling quite lonely and wanted someone to be there
with him. Although he was sure of his decision, he wanted a friend to be on his
side as he was slightly nervous. Changing his gender was a life changing event
and he was seeking some comfort.
“As it was the biggest decision of my life,
I wished for someone to be there with me, to say a few reassuring words. After
all, this was the point of no return.”
That is when Jamie approached YourDOST.
Jamie got connected to YourDost expert
Farida Rizwan. Jamie asked Farida if she would be able to help him with the
anxieties before a gender transfer surgery.
“When my counsellor told me that she had
friends who were transgenders and that they had helped her immensely in a
social campaign, I felt very relaxed and understood that she would be able to
understand and support me”
Jamie shared his concerns of the impending
surgery and the reasons behind this decision with her. He said he had for long
felt that he was a woman trapped inside a man’s body. He said he thinks like a
woman, feels like a woman. Due to this, when he was growing up, his family and
friends were not able to understand him properly. They often felt that he was
being too feminine. This had troubled him and he felt like an outsider most of
the time.
Later, when he understood his situation, he
decided on the surgery after talking to his doctor as it looked like a way to
make his life better. But at this point, none of his friends or family came
forward to support him emotionally.
YourDost expert Farida understood that he
was feeling abandoned and was seeking a feeling of reassurance. She knew how
most transgenders had to face issues of acceptance in the society and could
relate to Jamie's pain. She listened to him patiently and told him that she
will be there with him throughout the surgery and he would not feel lonely.
She asked him if he was completely sure of
his decision. Jamie replied with a firm yes. He said he was sure but was
slightly intimidated by the surgery process. Also, he hoped that once it was
done, his parents and friends accept him back in their lives. He said that he
would really like to tell them how much this means to him, how he can be a
better child & a better friend.
Expert Farida asked him if he would like
her to try calling his friend or family member to talk. Jamie said that would
be great. He shared their number with her and then, Farida reached out to his
childhood friend and mother. introduced herself and asked if they had some time
to talk about Jamie. She told them individually the mental agony he was going
through and his deep wish to be understood by his family and friends. She told
them how their few kind words could help him immensely. Post this, she
connected back to Jamie and told him about the calls.
“When my counselor said that she was proud
of me and of my decision to accept myself totally, I felt wonderful. It made me
ready to go through the surgery.”
He felt secured and warm with the session.
He thanked Expert Farida for not judging him. Farida told him that she was
happy to be a part of Jamie's life changing time. She encouraged him with
motivating words and examples of other successful transgenders.
“My counselor stood by me as a friend. She
assured me this step that I have planned to take will be the best decision of
my life.”
Where is he now?
Jamie is now a beautiful and confident
woman. She is very happy that she went ahead with the surgery. She plans to
become a motivational speaker and is into charity. She is sure that she can
encourage other people to follow their heart.
Note: The above is an example of cases that
are resolved by YourDOST counselors. The names and locations have been changed
to maintain confidentiality.
good blog
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