Chapters From My Life: January 2016

Friday, January 8, 2016

A Fountain Of Joy And Inspiration

Good Bye 2015. I will miss you.

The year was amazing for me. I reached many long term goals in 2015 towards which I have been relentlessly working for years. This was also a fruitful year where lot of people with their inspirational stories inspired me to be a better person. Fortunately, I don’t have to look far for the most inspiring story of 2015, since the amazing person lives with me under the same roof. She is my daughter Farheena.

When Farheena entered my life on 11^th May 1995, my joy knew no bounds. Having a daughter born after a son completed me as a mother. But, life is not fairy-tale with happy ending; so it was not like “she gave birth to a beautiful daughter and they lived happily ever after”. There were challenges waiting for me just around the corner.

The first challenge was finding out the most beautiful baby girl I had seen could not see, talk, walk or do many things which we all take for granted. She was child with special needs. The second challenge was, just 11 months after her birth, I was diagnosed with breast cancer stage 3.

Managing my cancer treatment, my financial woes and providing proper physiotherapy and care for my daughter was challenging to say the least, but with her hugs, smiles and love my daughter inspired me to survive. I knew with her around, I had no choice but to kick the cancer butt and survive. I did - for 20 years now.

Hospitals, special schools and lot of training with help from my son saw that Farheena grew up to be a friendly, happy and dignified young woman who knew her boundaries, limits, rights and passion and she stood by them firmly. The medical predictions did not stand strong in front of our combined determination.

With her medals and certificate

Today, Farheena does not talk fluently, but she does communicate in her own way and style. She can see clearly. She walks with little help. Farheena manages her own life and keeps in touch with friends of her choice through internet. Facebook and recently WhatsApp are her favorites.

With one of her favorite blogger friend Janaki

With limited words she can pronounce or spell, she uses her creativity to convey messages to us. Her lack of complete vocabulary has not stopped her from communicating with people. She keeps trying until she is understood.

Sharing her friend's secret with her baby doll Annie

2015 marked a new Era of my life because this was the year when Farheena walked in with her first Salary she received for making paper bags in YST. She is involved in lot more activities now.

That was the biggest goal of my life achieved. People who do not understand the whole concept often ask me, “How much does she earn?” That is not important. What makes it important for me as a mother is to know that she is now capable of being engaged in fruitful and purposeful work throughout the day. Apart from her job at YST, Farheena is busy on limeroad creating her scrapbook with styles of her choice. She has given me a few fashion tips and tries to correct me when she feels I am wearing inappropriate clothes for an occasion.

My inspiration in 2015 is my special needs daughter Farheena who has not allowed anyone to take her for granted. She knows how to protect herself and when to ask for help if someone is bothering her. She carries herself with dignity of a queen and is proud of her achievements. She has the ability to make people feel like somebody special. Moreover, unlike many people I know, she loves and respects herself.

15 years ago, I was consulting a lawyer regarding my legal rights. During the course of discussion, I mentioned that I am proud of my daughter. The lawyer then retorted saying, “Stop lying to yourself Farida. Come out of the delusion you are living in. No one can be proud of a special needs child. You can accept and love her but cannot be proud of her”. I was confused back then and walked away without answering her. I knew I felt pride in my heart when I think of my daughter but I was not sure.

Today, I can very confidently say that I am very proud of my daughter. She has taught me a very important lesson in my life that – it is not what you get in your life that matters, but what you do with what you have which makes the difference. I know she will continue to inspire me in the coming years as well.

I am very happy to spread the vibe of my hope and happiness to people who may feel overwhelmed by the challenges in their lives. Hang-on and fight with all your might! You will succeed.