Dad - A Tough Role To Play

It is much easier to become a father than to be one.

Kent Nerburn

Fatherhood is not a relationship that comes naturally as motherhood. I know you are already disagreeing with me and getting ready to argue. I feel that way because in most of the animal kingdom, including our own so called ancestors – I do not see any special bond between the father and child. It is the mother who nurtures the baby and makes them to be independent.

Yet, we humans have learned to respect this relationship so much that most of us consider God to be our father. “Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name”, said William Wordsworth. I have more respect for great dads because that is something they have learned to do, rather than depending on their instincts. Being a great lover or husband is not as much impressive.

Today, in society, children have become adaptable to having both the parents caring for them. The mother is the epitome of love for the children, whereas father is their security. They feel loved by the mother and protected by father. In the same way they look up to mother for comfort and daddy for guidance. Our social living has in itself carved different roles for each parent, with each of them falling into the role trap. Today, a missing parent leaves the child incomplete. There is no more a superior or inferior parent. They are two individuals sharing a mutual goal and complimenting each other.

Growing up, I always had my dad around. Though not a great communicator or had ways of expressing his love, my dad toiled to give us all the comforts he had missed growing up. Though he devotedly prayed 5 times every day, he never stopped us from exploring other religions or visiting different religious places. He also celebrated almost every Indian festival at our home. Back then, it was just our way of life. Today, I see how much it means to be so open minded.

Brought up in a home where the man went out to earn in the morning and came back to his family in the evening, I had to adapt to a different lifestyle after marriage. My husband works in gulf, which puts all the responsibility of bringing up children on my shoulder. For all these years I believed that a mother can compensate for the father’s absence but I am not sure anymore. Though I share a lovely relationship with my children, I feel they have missed the other part of parenting.

I have come to understand that parenting consists of two words – father and mother. No matter how good you are, you cannot replace the other. As I see my children managing their lives without their father around, I recall every moment my dad was there for me. He helped me carry my school bag, taught me accounting, showed me the best way to sign my name, encouraged me to learn more spellings and improve my handwriting and also trusted me more than anyone else. He took a great pride in my achievements. Like always I realize the value of my father’s presence in our lives only after we have lost him.  I now realize what a  #GreadDad he was. May his soul rest in peace always!