Do not Panic .. Lessons not learned from books.

We All Panicked and It Was Craziness Ruling

Continued

Do Not Panic

Finally at 2 p.m. we decided to get back home. We three started our walk back. I was very curious to look around and fell behind my sister and Sakku. Sakku was leading the way with my sister following and me following my sister. Finally we came to railway track and Sakku crossed it first then my sister got on the track. Now something terrible happened. It was time for the Brindavan Express to approach and it blared its horn. My sister suddenly froze on the track. Me and Sakku kept calling her name but she stood there staring in the direction of the train which was visible now. The trembling tracks and the blaring horn was scary as my sister was not able to move… suddenly I decided to intervene and pull her and held her hand .. unfortunately at the same time Sakku decided to do the same. We kept tugging my sister in the opposite direction for what looked like hours as the train fast approached us… I shouted at Sakku to let go, at the same time she shouted at me to let go.. Finally I do not know after how long that I decided to let go and my sister was pulled to the other side by Sakku. The force made all three of us fall on the opposite sides of the railway tracks and I felt the train engine brush past my dress or it could be fear induced imagination. We just stayed on our side of the tracks staring at it without making any effort to move or talk. Finally my sister shouted “were you two trying to kill me?”.

“ You were trying to kill yourself and we were trying to save you” I said, being angry that I was not appreciated for either trying to intervene and pull her nor for letting go when it was getting dangerous holding on. Sakku, the poor thing was in such a shock that she did not say anything but started crying so our attention was diverted to her. She was very sorry that she was very nearly responsible for getting her friend killed and she thought it was her fault inviting us to the fields.

I knew for sure that I would not take blame on myself like she did even if the fault was visible and Sakku shocked me with her way of thoughts. Anyway we consoled her. In the panic the poor Jirjeembe ( Pronounce-Jeer Jim Bay) had found its freedom and was nowhere to be seen. The match box lay empty there and I was very happy. NO! I did not let it free and I am sticking to what I said that day.

Finally it was decided that we should never let our parents know about the incident. A promise was made and kept forever until my sister who could never keep secrets told my mom about it few days later sending her into a panic frenzy. It was good she just told that she got scared on the railway tracks and could not cross over for sometime without mentioning the incident of me and Sakku pulling her from either side. My mom’s screams and wailing must have shut her up.

The incident would play up in my dreams where it would end in tragedy and that started disturbing me a lot. Whenever I heard the train pass by (we lived near to the railway tracks) I could feel it brush against my skirt etc. So I made effort to take the incident out of my mind and also promised never to give in to thoughtless panic ever in my life. With lot of effort finally I overcame the fear and the dreams stopped some time later. But since then I have not panicked much over any situation. The first thing I tell myself as my pulse picks up .. ‘stay calm’ and repeat it often. I learnt a big lesson that day that our life depended on the way we react to a situation and if not for proper thinking I could have lost my sister or may be   all three of us would be dead. The price of panic was just too big to ignore it.

Paddy fields 

(Note from a grown up Farida: Even to this day .. when my sister is no more, I have never overcome the fear the incident induced in me and I have never allowed panic to take over my senses ever after that. I have remained calm; when I saw a snake inside the house, got my hand stuck in car door, saw my younger sister catch fire, when my daughter slipped and fell down etc. No panic for me. I miss the panic feeling though. At times it is nice to squeal, ohhh ahhh and get scared and do weird things. I do that with lot of effort when it will be time for my husband to come back from gulf.. though my kids know I am acting it out they enjoy to see their Maa in a panic mode. )