An Update : Surfing through some past articles, I chanced upon this blog post today. Somehow now I fail to relate to it, as I have walked down the path of success since the day I wrote this blog post few years ago. I love my wings and freedom, especially knowing that I need not depend financially on anyone to take care of me or my children. No more do I feel trapped.
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| Trapped In a Cocoon |
Marriage is big step for any person. It means commitment, love, affection and companionship. Add a big sacrifice to the list when it comes to Indian women... at least to most of them.
Going through the customs, functions and parties, I did not realize what I was getting into when I got married. It took me years to realize how I had entered a trap and stayed there without realizing that
- I had lost my personal identity
- I had lost most part of my freedom
- I had lost the ability to make my own decisions
- I could not relate to the individual 'me' without being a wife, mother or some tag attached to myself
- I had stopped thinking about myself and my happiness
- I had got into a relationship with more people than my husband and had to deal with them
- I was becoming subdued and sacrificial
- I was trying very hard to make everyone proud of me
- I thought I could make others happy and I should try to make others happy
- I WAS NOT IMPORTANT
Trapped in a cocoon...
The free butterfly spreading its wings
Flew around playing with winds
Sipping nectar and dew from flowers
In bright sunlight shining its colours
Over the hills and over the dales
Freely it flew, with no fear of gales
Flew around playing with winds
Sipping nectar and dew from flowers
In bright sunlight shining its colours
Over the hills and over the dales
Freely it flew, with no fear of gales
Sadly, one fine day it got trapped in a cocoon
Losing its freedom and spending time in gloom
Wishing to be free from the suffocating pain
Wondering in the dark how to be free again
For the cool breeze is still blowing
The dews like pearls are still glowing
Over the hills, the day is so sunny
All the flowers are filled with honey
But the wings are not strong being under cover
The cocoon has dented its flights power
There are weights bearing the wings down
With all the strings attached; weary it has grown
There are weights bearing the wings down
With all the strings attached; weary it has grown
The cocoon is strong but not unbreakable
Long flights and strides is now impossible
Long flights and strides is now impossible
One step at a time leaning on a cane
Towards freedom, the butterfly moves again….
By: Farida Rizwan.
Towards freedom, the butterfly moves again….
By: Farida Rizwan.
free the butterfly goes by,
ReplyDeletei wonder which flowers
it has visited so far
or which flowers to is due to meet
the wind dances by
as it flutters about
and i wonder
what they both speak about
the butterfly circles on and around
i wonder if there is something
i want to tell me
thinking where to help it settle
on my finger
or on my imaginary wing
then off it goes leaving my thoughts
to a tree or to flowers far off me
my eye scan the place
the flutter is gone so has the wind...
regards,
wanderer
Beautiful! And Wanderer's was beautiful as well.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteBrilliant poem.
This "cocoon" can be anything like a bad job, marriage etc in the human context.
Nice read.
Cheers
Oh such a beautiful poem!!!! I really liked it!!
ReplyDeleteOh Farila, this is so beautiful! Yes, this cocoon could be anything, but one day, when you least expect it,it will fly free again!
ReplyDeleteBig, big hugs, my dear friend!
Just beautiful , Farila!
ReplyDeleteI loved the pic, as well!
Hope you're having a wonderful Sunday!
Betty xx
Beautiful Post. The cocoon is unbreakable. But once broken, the Butterfly can fly freely. Lovely writing.
ReplyDeleteToodles!:)
Aww... that is so sweet! nice poetry to complement the pic and vice versa :)
ReplyDeletebeautiful...!!
ReplyDeletethis was lovely....
ReplyDeleteFarida ji,
ReplyDeleteThose lines are so beautifully expressed. I guess it is never too late to find yourself. Realizing that the butterfly has the wings that could help her fly is a huge awakening in itself. Not many of us are gifted with such vision. I am glad that you are one among the opportune ones. Thanks for sharing your exquisite thoughts. Following your blog. You may like to follow mine.
Barkha Dhar
http://dharbarkha.blogspot.com/2011/08/its-tough-to-be-man.html
Well written. Quite appealing.
ReplyDeleteA poem full of hope and positivity! Very touching lines with delicate emotions...Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully worded. How well we can relate our life to the life in a cocoon.
ReplyDeleteOh.. beautifully written. Realising that it is trapped and making up it's mid to be free again is a big leap towards freedom. Once the mind is made up to be free, it will find it's own path to freedom!
ReplyDeleteYearning to see a poem on the joys of experiencing freedom soon.
Beautiful poem.. so much for self realisation!
ReplyDeletealso loved Wanderer's version..
Your new follower.
xx
Defiant Princess
Brilliant program
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem and very factual and touching write up. tumbaa chennagidhe.
ReplyDeletecatch me on sushmaspage.blogspot when you can find time.
You do have the gift of expression lady, cherish it. And keep sharing with others as you are already doing, well done!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful expression of the agony.In Indian context, therefore it said-'Aabla Naari'.
ReplyDeleteI liked the poem and the analogy is unmistakable. At the same time, I felt this might, I am afraid its going to discourage people from getting married =)
ReplyDeleteIndian women have stood the challenge of Sati system, dowry deaths and home abuse for a long time. This is not going to discourage them in any way.. You will find a wife Giridhar. ;)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully woven:)
ReplyDeleteIt is so true. But i don’t understand why do people make mistakes and sometimes it irks me when marriage is the ultimate agenda in the life of people. Some girls get married to ease social pressure and act like total teenage show-off types.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the individuality?
But i would never let anyone suffocate my individuality come what may.
God bless you.
Its actually alarming to c the declining rates of successful marriages in d world today!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to indian society its definitely a step ahead..all in all my personal opinion is that marriage is gamble..u just got to set ur cards right!
the poem is lovely :)
sarah
I can only say this: you dont need to live in India to feel trapped in a cocoon.. I felt trapped in my marriage, and I did everything to make it better, unless breaking my self free. One day I did. There was no other way for me. Just remember that the butterfly transform inside that cocoon and break it self out as a little vorm. New, and growing into a new butterfly.. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your supportive words everyone.
ReplyDeleteNicely written.. It is the story of almost 80% housewives.
ReplyDeleteoh...beautiful poem...
ReplyDeletethe journey continues...towards freedom.
Wonderful post and beautiful poem :)
ReplyDeleteA very interesting piece...still have to get married, almost in the age. Read this post makes me more nervous though
ReplyDeleteBeing in a cocoon is also part of our journey to knowing ourselves. Only when there is a loss do we realize what we had. Keep your center no matter what happens around you and All will be Well.
ReplyDeleteP.S. came here via Shail's sharing. Beautiful poem :).
Loved all the points you made. It does seem wrong that one partner is made to see marriage (or relationships) as more important than the other partner. There can be no balance or harmony without individuality and freedom. Humans need to be themselves, we need not live in cocoons.
ReplyDeleteKeep spreading those wings, Farida. For myself, I'm glad I stayed single. Even then, it's hard enough to break out. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou are very right when you said marriage is all about sacrifices and more so in India. If we don't do it, we are labelled.
ReplyDeleteA moving poem and all I wanna say is 'Soar High!'