1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Still laughing. Oh so funny. I loved them. BTW - your print looks just fine. I can read it without problems.
ReplyDeleteI think you enlarged it. Thank you so much. My vision is a real problem anymore. As much as I would like I have to skip reading some things when it strains my vision.
You are such a sweetheart. I am so glad I met you my dear friend.
Lol! I just loved all of these meanings! They really made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the posts that I think "I wish I had thought of that first!"
Love you, Farila!
Big, big hugs!
lol... cool ones.. the first one itself was a punch :D
ReplyDeleteVery good! I am guilty of having lots of classic books that are not read. Well...I've read a few of them, but not many. But, it's on my list of things to do. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks .. nice to know you all enjoyed it... Smiles takes you miles.
ReplyDeletelol:)..lovely definitions..thoroughly enjoyed!
ReplyDeletehe he he...great vocabulary farila..lol..!!
ReplyDeleteI loved all the meanining list. #4 i've been experienced that.
ReplyDeleteGreat!
hugs xx
Farila, i enjoyed them all, and personally have dealt with quite a few if not all of them.
ReplyDeleteBIG BIG HUGS
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